What the grammar police want for their birthday
- An official hunting season on people who can't differentiate between its and it's.
- A blogging ban on those who misspell more than three words per sentence. Go see Dr Language, and don't swim in the blogging pool again until it's all cleared up.
- The sale of keyboards licensed. Licenses will only be granted to those that can correctly use 'their', 'there' and 'they're' in sentences.
- A recycling program for writers who refuse to use dictionaries or style guides. Turn serial offenders against language into tasty cupcakes. Yum. (Hint: avoid being recycled into a cupcake by picking up a copy of The Elements of F*cking Style.)
Oversight *this*
What is it with public servants and their love of the word 'oversight' as a verb?
They never 'oversee' something, or 'oversaw' it, and they won't be 'overseeing' it. No, instead, they write 'I will oversight x' making this officer's hand itch to deliver deep-tissue massage with her baton.
Now, 'oversight' as a noun is perfectly law-abiding use. And if we were in medieval times, use of 'oversight' as a verb would be perfectly common and normal too. But the public servant's love of using 'oversight' as a verb, instead of 'oversee'? Well, it just smacks of wankery, doesn't it? And the Grammar Police hate wankery...
'Honey' or 'honey'? 'Pooky' or 'pooky'?
English elitists, pronunciation prigs and spelling spetsnaz, be on the lookout for endearments such as 'honey' which are incorrectly capitalised. Unless the birth certificate reads 'Honey Tits' (surely bad taste on the parents' part), no capital H is required.
The Grammar Police Don't Have Time for Christmas
While there is too much evil in the written world for the Grammar Police to have time to celebrate Christmas, we would like to remind everyone that the best gift you can give at Christmas time is a correctly punctuated Christmas card with accurate spelling and grammar.
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